Frankly Existential

Companionship

Companionship is a universal need for human flourishing. The practicality of companionship, and I mean real companionship, is tremendous. While the practicality is a bonus, it is not (or at least, should not be) the main motivator for seeking companionship, but companionship is to be desired because it is an ideal (practicality vs. idealism as broader concepts will be explored in later posts). It is the ideal form of human connection, what we hope every bond we have has at its core is companionship.

So, before getting too far ahead of myself, I suppose I should first define companionship. Companionship goes beyond simple friendship. It is founded upon a level of trust that is so great that everything up to our own lives can be confidently kept in the hands of another. Companionship can be likened to a bit more generalized idea of camaraderie shared by soldiers. The bond between soldiers in the middle of a war, by necessity, has that level of trust where the soldiers’ lives are in each others’ hands.

Practical companionship

As mentioned earlier, there is tremendous practicality in companionship. For starters, it supplies a secure attachment to someone else. Someone that you can count on in times of need, someone you can trust, someone you can be sure truly wants the best for you. At the very least this should be what you desire in a romantic relationship. That type of companion is set to be lifelong and far more intimate than the rest of your relationships. In those non-romantic relationships, however, it’s desirable to have more than one. Typically, people have more than one of those close relationships, thus, preventing a single companion from being able to devote as much time to all of their companions as may be necessary. To have multiple companions is to have multiple sources of trust and security.

Ideal companionship

An idealistic aspect of companionship is necessary for it to be true companionship. To simply chase the practical elements is nothing short of selfish which inherently negates any form of companionship. While you benefit from finding a companion, the benefit is far better and more stable by being a good companion for another.

So how is it that one acts as an ideal companion?

The first thing you must do is have a thorough examination of your own will. Who are you? Perhaps the most deceptively difficult question to answer, but equally the most necessary. Do you truly wish for the best of others? Do you do good things for others for them and not for self-gain? The pursuit of self-gain through good deeds for others is not companionship nor is it even good in itself, rather, it is simply manipulation. You are simply using someone as a means to your own ends. Later posts will discuss the concept of the will and it’s connection to morality, but for now let’s stay simple with companionship.

After this examination of will, examine your relationships. How many companions do you really have? How many relationships are you a part of where you as well as the other individual possess these traits? Are you both acting for each other? Do you both wish for the good of the other? When helping each other in any form, do you do so in hopes for reward or reciprocity? Let me elaborate on the reciprocity aspect for a moment. In true companionship, reciprocity is to be expected but that is not to say it is to be desired or a motivator for action. Reciprocity as a motivator for action undermines our principle of “acting for the other” since it is driven for self-gain. Reciprocity in companionship is to be expected ipso facto (by the fact itself).

After examining your relationships, you will likely come to the conclusion that you don’t have many companions. Don’t worry, you’re not alone. Luckily, after examining your will and relationships, you know better what to look for. It’s really up to you to take the next step then.

Closing statement

This is certainly not the most comforting ending that could be given, basically just saying you probably don’t have as many deep relationships as you thought. Oops. But the positive side is you can do something about it. This isn’t a very well refined idea and I have multiple parts I would like to break this into.

Future parts will discuss: Why it is important we embrace loneliness; Being overzealous in the pursuit of companionship; Going overboard in loneliness; Moderation in sacrifice for others; and whatever else comes to mind really. The hope is to turn this topic into a full-length work over time, maybe put it on paper or something. I’m ambitious. Thank you for taking the time to read my take on companionship, take care.