Frankly Existential

Regret

What do you regret doing in your past? What do you regret not doing? What about it makes you regret it?

To regret yesterday is to take for granted today. To take today for granted is to waste it. To waste today is to sacrifice tomorrow. Rationally speaking, why would we allow something we have no influence over tear down everything we can control?

The thing about regret is that it, more often than not, is an irrational emotion that consumes us. When we regret, we dwell. Our mistakes become our character. The way we view our own character influences the way we act. When we view ourselves as our past mistakes we are destined to repeat them. Our past influences our future almost entirely. This is not to say people do not change, and not that we remain the same person forever. What I mean is that we are largely a result of our experiences. It is not so much what we do, but what is done to us that molds us.

Accepting our past is not easy, especially when we see it is fixed, we cannot undo what we perceive as mistakes and all we can do is dwell on them. Accepting the present is easier and helps us accept our past. We have control over our present self. We can make our present moment better through our own efforts, a subtle shift in mindset can drastically improve your day-to-day. When we do accept the present and express gratitude for where we are, we de facto begin to accept our past because that is what led us here.

How do we be grateful in our darkest moments?

This question is completely valid. Hopelessness is a very real feeling, and some of us feel it more often than others. First, this is alright. Keep in mind that just because you feel hopeless does not mean you are hopeless.

Gratitude is always available, you just have to choose to accept it. There is never a moment throughout the human experience, even in the greatest suffering, where there is nothing to be grateful for.

“The struggle itself toward the heights is enough to fill a man’s heart.”

“For methods imply metaphysics; unconsciously they disclose conclusions that they often claim not to know yet. Similarly, the last pages of a book are already contained in the first pages.”

These quotes, taken from Albert Camus’s The Myth of Sisyphus work together to illustrate the point I wish to make. When we persist through our greatest struggles, we do so willingly. We may not consciously know the reason, but we actively choose to persist in our struggle. Once we realize why we do, it becomes obvious that it was the case. The first quote doesn’t seem to fully explain the idea and may seem counterintuitive at first. Paired with the second, we see the full picture. The disclosure of the conclusions hidden within our methods, shows that even without knowing it consciously, we have a goal we are aiming for. This unknown goal is why the struggle brings fulfillment. We know our struggle will lead us to a greater end, and we become inspired to embrace it.

This is how we are expressing our gratitude simply by choosing to live. We are grateful for life itself, we are grateful for the prospect of a better future. We are given hope through our suffering. Embrace it. Do not seek pleasure. Seek strength through suffering and the pleasure will come. Do what is difficult while you still have the option. There will come a day you don’t have the option and you must be ready.

The acceptance of where we are and where we will go necessarily leads to the acceptance of our past. When we are grateful for our present and our future, we become grateful for our past. This inevitable phenomenon can only mean one thing:

The remedy for regret is gratitude.

Thank you. Be well.

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